Some Weak Student Plans:

Here are a few weak student plans. (I say they're weak because they seldom generate much enthusiasm and professors seldom give them A's-- though they're often good enough for C's and occasional B's, if professors are soft touches or unobservant.)

I'll tell you what I've read, and I'll get at least a C.

I'll pick something small so that you won't know that I don't understand everything.

I'll do something general so that you won't know that I'm not very good at looking at texts and talking about what other people say.

I'll begin with society or Webster or life in a complex world and move to something relevant and specific, if I get around to it.

I'll tell a story about how I found out what I found out or how I came to the truth. (If I get stuck, I can go through it line by line and get a C.)

I'll talk and you'll associate. (Or I'll associate and you'll give me at least some credit for being right sometimes and having a few good ideas someplace.)

I'll crank it out with a clunky intro, 3 points, and a conclusion that summarizes my three puny little points (well actually there are only two but I can stretch one to get three)--and depending on the day of the week or whose paper you've just finished reading, I could even get a B.

I'll agree with this author, and I'll repeat what he says so you'll believe me.

I'll imply my agreement and hint at my point so that you'll think I know more than I do.

I'll try to excite you with wonder, famous quotations, brass bands, and parachutists from the sky, and if I can't do that, I'll give you a vase with wax tulips in it and you'll like me so much you won't even notice the vase c~me from the Goodwill and the tulips have dust all over them.

I'll use lots of quotations so I won't have to say anything myself and if I use the right ones, you won't know whether I understand the material or not.

I'll say it once and say it again if I can't think of something else to say.

If I get done too soon, I'll tack something on the end to make it long enough, or I'll end by exhorting you to think about it and maybe learn something.

I won't tell you what the author says because I don't know exactly what he says, but I'm sure you won't mind if I have a good point and my digressions are interesting enough.

I won't tell you what the author says because you already know what the author says, and it could be better if you know what I don't want to tell you.

It's safer and will take less work if I like it even though I hate it and even though I haven't finished reading it.

It's safer to be wishy-washy because I can get in more trouble by choosing tbe wrong side.

If I don't understand something, I'll leave it out. (In fact, when in doubt, I'll leave it out.)

I'll ignore what other people say because I don't want to confuse the issue and make things more complicated than they already are.

Unless I'm told to do so, I'll never compare anything with anything else because that will make me do twice as much work.

I can always discuss freedom, the role of women in society, stepping back from the abyss to affirm life, bird metaphors, a novelist's creation of a world, modern despair over man's role in his own present-day self-destruction and self- knowledge in an ever-changing milieu. In fact, if I act sincere enough, I can always get at least a B if I quote enough or talk about two or three characters and/or jump up and down enough with a tear in my eye and a bandage on my leg.

I'll try not to use more than one example because examples tend to confuse the issue.

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